SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER AND GET OUR 13 HOT TIPS FOR A PROSTATE MASSAGELearn More

Ten Types of BDSM Play

It’s so much fun when someone talks about a scene with passion and you know they have really found their niche in the community, but it can be hard to find that niche for some people, especially when you are still learning about what the lifestyle has to offer! Below is a list of different types of common scenes or roles you might hear about when talking with other kinksters. Remember in the BDSM lifestyle with every different relationship dynamic you’ll see different types of play (or “scenes) and lots of people borrow aspects from different styles to create their own. Have fun, be safe and you’ll find your niche too!

Please be aware that some of these scenarios might be triggers for victims of sexual assault/rape.Always discuss roleplay and any type of BDSM play with your partner to make sure that there are no mental, emotional or physical issues that might cause harm!

1.Dominant/submissive or Master/slave

This is a typical power play scenario that revolves around one person (the Dominant or Master) having control over certain aspects of the submissive or slave or you can even switch roles during play. Think of this as an umbrella scenario that usually includes lots of different types of play or roles!

2. Owner/pet

This type of scene includes one person pretending to be a type of pet (cat, dog, pony, rabbit, snake, whatever you want!) and the other person is the Owner. You can feed your pet, groom them, dress them up, have them sleep in a special pet bed or cage, etc.

3. Kinky Roleplay

I’m making this a general category since most people have scene (haha.. get it?) these played out in mainstream media. Kinky roleplay includes the common “Priest/Nun/Parishioner”, “Teacher/Student”, “Nurse/Doctor/Patient”, etc scenarios that are fun to play out with a kinky twist! You can have the person be a naughty schoolgirl who needs punishment, a patient in need of a “special cure” *wink wink*, or a parishioner who can only be absolved of sin through special tasks.

4. Daddy/Mommy/Little/Ageplay

Just to be clear, littles may not necessarily be into ageplay and ageplayers may not necessarily be littles. Littles are generally submissives who regress to a certain age (known as “little space”) and enjoy being taken care of in a parental fashion. They might like coloring, watching cartoons, being given a bath or reading a story with their partner, but this all depends on the age they regress to.Ageplay includes roleplaying as a certain age and does not necessarily include age regression. You are probably most familiar with this in the form of ABDL or Adult Baby Diaper Lovers, adults who enjoy ageplaying as babies, wearing diapers and roleplaying as infants. ABDL roleplayers may also enjoy a lactation fetish or nursing with their partner, but, again, not all ageplayers enjoy this.

5. Wax Play

Wax play is pretty self-explanatory. Find a good low-temp candle (Do NOT use normal scented candles from your local store, they will BURN you!). Emergency candles are a good low-budget option or you can find specific candles/wax in BDSM or rope stores. Prepare for a mess (you can have the person lay on a towel, mat or vinyl sheet), light your candle and let the wax melt for bit.. then have fun slowly pouring it on your partner! You can have them blindfolded, have their limbs bound, sitting or laying down, etc.

6. Bondage

Again, not much to explain here. Bondage is another umbrella term that includes any type of binding during play. Ropes, handcuffs, blindfolds, spreader bars, clamps, etc. You can also use different kinds of bondage furniture. These can be specialty pieces or the furniture you have in your own home. To try out some of the generally more expensive pieces check out your local dungeon to get an idea of what’s available. You might see some permanent structures like o-rings mounted in a beam or suspension equipment in the ceiling, larger pieces like a St. Andrew’s cross or a spanking bench or some specific pieces of furniture like medical chairs or vac beds! Make sure you do your research on the risks involved in each type of play before you try it and them discuss it with your partner.

7. Impact Play

Impact play involves any type of impact to a person’s body. This might be bare handed spanking, spanking with brush or paddle, flogging, caning, etc. Impact play can be “thuddy” or “stingy” and doesn’t necessarily have to be painful.

8. Sensation Play

Technically #5 is sensation play, but I wanted to talk about some other activities that are also in this category. Sensation play involves any play that gives a person a sensation. Some common techniques include using ice during play (on the body for short periods, putting it in your mouth, etc), playing with food like whip cream or even feeding your partner, cooling or heating toys that are capable of holding temperature, using a feather, scarf, wartenburg wheel or an e-stim toy to create fun sensations for you and your partner.

9. Humiliation Play

This one is a hard limit for me, but I know lots of people who really, really enjoy it. Humiliation has a wide-range from being called dirty names in the privacy of your own bedroom to forced publicsissification. You can try more mild forms like wearing a plug or bondage wear under your clothes to work, going to the store together handcuffed or on a leash or involving other consenting individuals in your humiliation play by having them watch. Use your imagination and have fun!

10. Sexual Sadism/Masochism

For clarification, sadism is when you derive pleasure from causing someone pain and masochism is when you derive pleasure from experiencing pain. I feel like these terms get used pretty loosely, but medically they are used to describe people who rely on pain to achieve pleasure from these scenarios. It’s usually a necessary ingredient in their sexual lives. That being said it certainly is possibly to incorporate aspects of S/M in your own play through impact play, knife play, blood play, rope bondage, clamps, etc but please be aware that this type of play poses serious risks and should never be done without proper safety and emergency plans!

Of course there are a ton of different types of play, scenes and toys not mentioned here that you can implement in your lifestyle. There are specific items for every specific interest. Take a little bit from different ones and mesh them together until you find something that works well for you and your partner.

For some specific BDSM scenarios check out this article by Xeromag!

And be sure to check out our Safety Disclaimer.