You enjoy sex — a whole lot. And you love your spouse. You are not quite certain how — or when it occurred. The enthusiasm, even the fire, are MIA. Your sex life seems dead.
Ready to light your flame? These expert tips will create sex hotter, more happy, and just plain sexier you.
1. Get naked.
Women who have the best sex lives when feel good about their bodies. Ask your man what he loves about your body, and then write it down. Read your list daily, or better yet say them outloud.
2. Find time for self-care.
Do something which makes you feel good about yourself — choose self-care practices. “Whenever you pay attention to your own body and what it is capable of, you will be naturally be more sensuous.”
3. Create tension in a good way.
That’s because once you tell yourself you can’t have something, you want it even more. Ever tried dieting or giving up chocolate or coffee? The exact same happens in the bedroom. Rather than focusing on orgasm or ejaculation, learn to enjoy the hope of sexual engagement. Learn to enjoy teasing each other — be like teenagers and not always getting to third base. Couples forget to make-out. I like to tell my clients that they should take turns in pleasure.
4. Try something different.
After a few years together, we all get lazy and often resentful in the bedroom.
Research demonstrates that variety stimulates our brains to create more dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays an integral role in our sexual appetites. That is why some men like to look at porn. There is a simple answer to that costume play – get dressed up. Or try something different outside of the home. Jump out of a plane, hire a hot car and go for a drive in the country. Or try something like The Art of Bondassage or work with an experienced practitioner. Try something new and exhilarating and things are bound to heat up in the bedroom.
5. Show him how you like to be touched.
Help yourself, by helping him simply show him exactly what turns you on. Take the time to place your hands on top of his and direct him in the way you want and need to be touched — such as just how much pressure to work with. If you dont know what turns you on and you feel disconnected from your desire, then working with a Sexological Bodyworker can help you get in touch with this part of your life again.
6. Give yourself time.
As a woman when you are stressed out, it is impossible to feel hot. Your body is producing higher levels of oxytocin to counteract the adrenalin. Unfortunately, Oxytocin cancels out testosterone in your body. Recharge your sensual self – take a relaxing bath, listening to music, have a glass of wine. When you are relaxed and feeling great about your self, your sex life will begin to heat up again. Men on the other hand when they are stressed would love nothing more than a handjob to relax and to fall asleep.
7. Stop being a feminist for a minute and let him do stuff.
University of Virginia discovered that a leading indicator in women’s happiness in relationship could be directly attributed to the amount of attention she received from her husband.
If the two of you are spending good quality time together, then you will be happy. Here’s why: Foreplay is an all-day event for Women. You need to feel his desire for you. You need to feel emotionally engaged with him. Let him solve problems and fix things for you and show him you are grateful.
8.Turn chores into foreplay.
Women have always spent more time on household chores and childcare. Women are still trying to do too much, so we aren’t in the mood — we are tired! Research at the University of Washington indicates that if men pitch in around the home, their wives are more inclined to be satisfied with their relationship and in turn will want more sex.
Sexualize housework. There is nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes and perhaps you could reward him with a blowjob. Or do the vacuuming with sexy music and wearing lingerie.
9. Leave home.
You know that it’s good to escape — from work, the kids, the bills — and focus on each other for a change. If you cant get away for the weekend, or find time for a date night. But try something new and exciting together.
10. Endorphins are the dope…
Should you want another reason to exercise, consider this: Exercising is a great way to boost your sexual life. With the endorphin release from exercise, you will be much more receptive to sex.